tables have turned

sure, attitudes are changing. but no matter how, or how often, people try to say otherwise, the stigma associated with online dating reins supreme. even those who "own it" -- i think i hear some i-don't-take-no-sh*t-from-nobody, snappy-snap fingers somewhere (calm down, girlfriend!) -- do so with a good dose of hedging. first, there's the inevitable groan and the deepdowndiaphragm sigh that makes listeners feel like they're suddenly caught in an urban wind tunnel. then there's the rationalizing: i know...i KNOW! it's terrible, but it's not like i wanna pick up at the bar! and what's the big deal! i know lots of people who've met online. and it's all just a numbers game, anyway. and if i'm on there, then surely other cool people must be too. i mean, they can't all be nutbars...can they? indeed: nothing's ever sounded more like an exercise in trying to convince yourself of something.

so, it's with this same apologetic sheepishness that i fess up to recent lewd, crude and booed behaviour. after at least five solid years of disdainful resistance, mockery, and -- let's be honest -- sheer horror at the thought that meeting people "naturally" (whatever that exactly means) may be trickier nowadays than we'd anticipated once upon a time (cue the defunct Cinderella music), i find myself falling in line with the online. sheep-ish indeed: baaa(h)!

what this means, of course, is that coffee-shop meet-ups suddenly take on new significance. because the reality is that meeting somewhere other than at a coffee shop for that first conversation (*cough* initial quality assessment) is potentially dangerous (e.g. chez vous), essentially pointless (e.g. the movies -- where you can't even see each other, let alone learn about So-And-So's take on black licorice, John Baird, feng shui, or where to find the best curry on the planet), or inevitably awkward (e.g. that arts performance featuring lots of naked people waxing poetic).

and so, suddenly, while gearing up for the first forays into "unnatural" dating, i feel my own eyes watching me (who knew that could be so creepy!). and i'm wary of other, similarly motivated, coffee-shop-dwelling bloggers, who will witness and somehow capture handfuls of dull silences or how my date and i react to the predictable "doesn't look as good as in the photos" conundrum.

and yet, as it turns out, when these Mr. Dates (who, by the way, are -- at least so far -- as good-looking as they'd seemed!) have fantastic personalities, and the conversation floweth, you realize you don't care at all that some observers might be taking it all in. just maybe, you even like the idea. so, where are those blog posts anyway? because i definitely wanna read them.

and now back to translating...