father of the pride

there's no doubt that coffee shops are microcosms of the broader public, corralling the student and the professor; the baby and the gen-zed; the wobbly-bodied and the festive-minded; the artsy, the angry and the assertive; the religious and the romantic and the rich and famous. and today, very unfortunately, the victim of domestic abuse. as well as her a**hole father.

Father's ignorance initially rears its (butt-ugly) head when he begins pontificating about muslims: they should follow the rules in canada and all become catholic! (uh-oh! i haven't been baptized yet...) and then: they must be drunk or on drugs to believe [something-er-other about honour killings]. when Daughter responds that tons of muslims don't believe in honour killings and that, by the by, most muslims don't drink, Father concludes that it must be drugs then.

my insides really tense up, though, when Daughter reveals some solemn news: i don't feel safe with him at this point. "him," it quickly becomes clear, is her boyfriend. during an argument a few nights ago, he'd hit her. hard. across the face. now, she's thinking of getting a restraining order. and, while she seems to have nearly made up her mind, she clearly wants Father's validation. clearly wants him to say something like: i think the restraining order is a good idea. and probably: i'm so sorry, Honey. maybe even: what's wrong with that pr*ck?!

instead, having learned that this is "only" the first time Boyfriend has behaved this way, Father calmly and ever-so-logically offers: i'm not picking sides, but...you know, you were fighting. and he just snapped. what makes you think he'd do it again? (i suddenly feel transported back to a decade -- or century or millenium -- i've never had the privilege of living in. to a time before the cycle of violence became very common knowledge.) he continues: my role here is to protect the family and keep it together. and, sometimes, that means overlooking your needs. 

there's a brief pause. then Daughter begins silently sobbing. i'm scared even to be near him, she says. Father grows impatient, embarrassed and abrupt. don't get upset. don't get upset! we're done this conversation now, he decides. she buries her head in her hands for a few moments. then bursts out of the coffee shop, with Father trailing a bit behind. sure is a good thing he's managed to stay so far away from all that honour business.

and now back to translating...