yes: Lulu is that person. the one who stands just a little too close to you in line at the coffee shop so that, as she's talking on her phone, her saliva flies onto your chin. (doh!) the one who, unbeknownst to her, manages to permanently block you on the sidewalk despite all your efforts to get by. (why, i'll...!) the one who transforms your trip to the grocery store from a sunshiny, everything's-coming-up-roses adventure in gastronomy (right?) into some kind of obstacle course that she has (again, utterly inadvertently) set up by leaving her cart in the middle of the aisle and then -- while trying to locate the peanut butter that's on sale -- stands wide-eyed in the centre of another part of that aisle, taking no notice whatsoever of the people lining up to get to the jam/honey/nutella or of the resulting twenty-cart pile-up. (*loudspeaker* pile-up in aisle three!)
meeeanwhile, not far from Lulu is a guy who's dressed head to toe in tweed (which doesn't actually matter -- except, how often do you see that on a thirty-year-old? and, besides, how else will you understand the name i'm about to give him?) and taking spatial awareness to a whole other level. within the span of thirty minutes, Tweed has changed teenytinytables three times. and it's unclear why. he's not just looking for a place to plug in his computer, and he doesn't appear to be too hot or too cold. but something's getting to him. it seems there can be only two possible explanations: either he's suffering from AASA (acutely acute spatial awareness) and is responding to the (apparently) negative energy of those around him (Lulu being one of them), or...it's something or other about bacteria.
and now back to translating...
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