form and content

hear the two ladies sitting at that nearby table? they're twenty-eight or so and haven't seen each other in a while. so it's loud, rapid-speed shrieks and giggles and omigods galore. more notable, however, is the healthy dose of uptalk, vocal fry and the ever-prolific like. and by "healthy" i mean "mortifying." making statements sound like questions -- i'm neeervous about the interview? but, like, i'm not superworried? -- contributes nicely to narrowing the gap between women/gay men and the Triple-S (shallow-stupid-spoiled) stereotypes associated with the likes (get it?) of Miss America competitors, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, and Paris Hilton. (apparently, hetero-identified guys also use these speech tactics. guess i've just never heard it.)

here's the surprise twist, though: as the two women continue talking, i learn that one of them is a UC berkeley grad student and the other's clerking at the supreme court of canada. *rimshot* please see previous discussions about the unfairness of jumping to certain conclusions, but people in these positions don't tend to be dipsticks. and, indeed, the content of their conversation seems to indicate that they're very bright. so what's with the way they talk? i guess "legally blonde" has effectively jumped off the movie screen and into the real-life courtroom (among other workplaces). yikes! who would want to hire Clerky as their lawyer? as far as professional credibility goes, if she's gonna talk like that, she might as well show up to court wearing jogging pants. or -- what the hell -- a bustier (BOO-stee-yay)! after all, what could possibly go better with those gravelly vocal tones than well-presented cleavage?

















and now back to translating...

nothing, nada, zilch.

it's official: for the first time since i began this blog, there's absolutely nothing of interest going on in the coffee shop. 

how can this be? i'm in downtown toronto, and this location is crawling with a host of people. a very friendly, young mega-hippie. a congregation of bright (and only slightly perky) legal professionals. an unusual grouping of strangers sitting around a looooong table. workers, gabbers, hermits, sloths; they're all here, and in all colours, shapes and sizes. plus, tiff's on, and i'm right down the street from cbc. so i'm just poised for a celebrity sighting. Ryan Gosling, Jian Ghomeshi, Javier Bardem...where in heck are you guys?

but...nope. with the exception of the shockingly large umbrellas so many people are ludicrously wielding outside (they're like the volkswagen beetles of rain protective gear: you could squeeze twenty clowns under those things), there's nothing of note.

thankfully, however, i'm accompanied by aretha franklin and otis redding. even as we launch into this playlist for the fifth time, they make this café a very groovy place to be. and, as a bonus, there's the rain. the good kind. so, instead of giving you a headache or making you aware of the fact that you're beginning to suffer from arthritis (oh, lord! i'm getting old...), it makes you wanna be doing one of three things -- two of which are reading a good book in bed, and lounging in a coffee shop. but i digress...

so, basically, everything here is just hunky-dory. *sigh* this only reminds me of how terribly dull "hunky-dory" can be. which is why the current social obsession with the "be happy" tagline makes me crazy. i don't want to strive for 24/7 happiness! never mind the fact that being told to be happy seems to shove aside whatever legitimate reasons there might be for feeling differently, there's also that whole relativity thing: if we were happy all the time, i'm pretty sure we'd be as good as dead. nope: i wanna feel all of it. confusion and sadness; anger and empathy and pride and humiliation; disappointment, discomfort and ecstasy; love and heartache and loss. and i want to think about as much as i can, without having my head explode. i want to watch the news (even the so-called bad stuff). i want heated debates. i want to question myself so that i have to change my mind sometimes.

and, obviously, i also want to be happy. so, actually, easing into this aretha/hippie/hocho groove is a cinch. and a pleasure! but it had better not last too long.

and now back to translating...